Two Important Single Sites
Unmarried.org July 9
organization – the only one of it’s kind for singles. It is not a social group. It is
a political and policy focused organizatioan looking at the legal, insurance, health, employment, tax issues (etc) relevant to those who do not have a legal certificate of marriage.
They lobby congress and inform the media about any if these topics. They keep these issues in the fore-front of everyone’s attention.
For over a decade now, there has been a National Singles Week (last week in September), with endorsements from all the single representatives and congressmen. You won’t believe how many there are!
They also offer lots of resources for singles, including a Virtual Book Club. That’s where I was honored to be talking about With or Without A Man: Single Women Taking Control of Their Lives and my other writings on singles.
SWWAN.com
July 17
This site specifically focuses on single working women (the first three letters; the last two are affiliate and network).
If you haven’t seen them, go check them out. There are other really good sites for working women, but this one is specific to the unique issues for women who are single and single again.
They even have a festival coming up end of July, with some interesting give-aways. For joining, you get a really nifty Swan pin.
I was pleased to be invited on their RadioBlog show.
Barbara Payne, host, wrote this about the interview:
The SWWAN Dive show has moved to BlogTalkRadio. Last night I conducted a wonderful live Internet radio interview with Dr. Karen Gail Lewis, an author, counselor, therapist and single woman. It was a great experience, and she has a lot to say to single working women. Since there's a place to make comments--and potentially raise the visibility of the show--I'd like to ask you to enjoy the content and contribute your thoughts .
Please go to this URL (yes it’s long!) http://www.blogtalkradio.com/show.aspx?userurl=swwan_dive&year=2008&month=07&day=18&url=7-Shocking-Truths-about-Being-Single-or-Single-Again-Today.
If you have time, go ahead and listen to the show (with your sound on, it will start playing as soon as you open the page). If not, please read below and make a comment on what a great show it was! And if you like the content, go ahead and "Mark it a favorite!"
Here are some of the things we talked about so your comment can be pithy:
You’ve written a book – called With or Wtihout a Man – and in the process you did lots of research that supports your conclusions about being single. Let’s get right into some of the surprising things you’ve discovered.
What are the real reasons why so many women today are single or single again?
Most women talk about their flaws, looks, clothes. But that's not it. The fact is, women pursue their personal
growth way more than men. They expect more, and men are not keeping up.
You talk about research the absence of touch in relation to singles. What are the facts?
Women don’t pay enough attention to this. Studies show that the elderly get depressed w/o touch. Women get depressed without touch. Need connection. Get involved with kids—kids love hugs. Dancing. Massage. Hug your family. Pets.
something wrong with me that I haven't met a man." Why do women, even highly successful working women,
blame themselves when they don't have a love relationship or the one they had has turned sour?
Since the 1600s (and long before) books and authorities have said it’s woman’s fault; our own mothers taught us this.
Society has for all time ingrained this into women from birth. I hate those books on how you should change yourself to
catch a man.
Most healthy single women aren’t depressed a lot. But sometimes it happens. Sometimes the feeling of sadness
that you might never have a committed relationship comes sneaking in. What can we do about that?
An exercise from her workbook "With or Without a
definitely
going to meet the man of your dreams in 5 years, but not before. What do you do? You RELAX. Your get involved in
activities you enjoy. You do what YOU want. If you want to go to singles dances, go ahead, but go only if you enjoy
them, not because you “need to put yourself out there.”
How you can not have a man in your life, yet have intimacy? Other women give us intimacy.
We don’t analyze our relationships with women to death. They should. You feel closer.
People often ask intrusive and sometimes downright rude questions about being single. Does it make a difference how you answer them? What do you suggest?
Don’t be clever, or pathetic. Any answer you give feels bad. It lets them define you. It’s like asking if you’ve had a bowel movement. Don’t invite them in to share personal things. Believe it’s inappropriate for them to ask, then shrug & change subject. “Hmmmm.” Talk about something else. Nothing you reply will make you feel better.
The very worst thing about being single – and it’s NOT the absence of a man.
With most sad or traumatic events in life, you grieve but move on. But if you're feeling sad, angry, about not meeting a man, you can't move on because you just don't know. You don’t want to give up hope. It's called ambiguous loss. Much harder to move on. Can’t stop and be finished. Not knowing is very difficult--as has been researched with the Military, lost POWs, and with victims of cancer or those in a coma--are you coming back or are you dying? It's the not knowing that makes the emotion stick. That's why the crystal ball exercise is so powerful. It shows you the power that knowing gives you.
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IF you haven’t gotten your 15 Golden Rules For Being An Emotionally Healthy Single Women,click here.
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