What happened to all those years – even decades?  Where did they go?  Was I sleeping through them?  No, because I have some great memories.  But, turning 65 certainly makes me think about those memories, the good ones and the not so good.

What stands out most, though, is a pattern I see.  When I turned 40, I thought I was really there.  I felt accomplished and excited about how I saw my life.  I could look back and be glad I had finally gotten to a really wonderful place.  I remember telling people I was glad to be 40, adding, “It only gets better as you get older.”

Curiously, I found myself saying the same thing when I turned 50, and again at 60, and again 1 ½  months ago.  So, there must be something to things getting better as you get older.  (Only now, I think about the past as well imagine the future.)

It is definitely true that as I have gotten older, I worry less about what others think of me.  And, I’m much more accepting of who I am.

For instance, I recently found a copy of a letter I had written to my girlfriend when I was 16.  To my horror and amusement, I was complaining about the same personal defects I still have today.  The difference is today I shake my head with acceptance:  Oh well, that’s who I am.  I don’t beat myself up as I did in that old letter. 

The biggest problem for me in turning 65, though, was how to honor this birthday.

For my 50^th, I had a big party and invited everyone who had ever been important in my whole life – going back to childhood.  I did a video showing pictures and telling each of them how they had influenced me.

For my 55^th, I celebrated throughout the year; after all, I was going to be 55 for 12 months.  With one friend, we went away for the weekend; with another friend, we just sat around and talked.  With one group of friends, I had a luncheon.  For each of these times, I brought with me my blow-up birthday cake with candles and made it a celebration.

For my 60^th, I went to New York City with my best friend.  What a blast that was.

Since I had done such marvelous things before, I couldn’t think what to do for my 65^th.   I wasn’t going to repeat myself, but nothing came to me.  Then, I decided there is one really special thing that only happens when one turns 65 – Medicare.  So, I gave myself a Medicare Party.  I made it fun, and played with the popular associations about getting old and feeble. 

What pearls of wisdom to I have for you as you welcome your next birthday?

1. Find a way to celebrate each of your birthdays; don’t take then for granted.   Look around; you probably know people your own age who have died.  So, don’t take your years for granted.
2. Take charge of the celebration yourself.  That way you’ll be sure to get exactly what you want.
3. Be gracious to yourself; forgive yourself for your prior mess-ups.  Learn from them and honor yourself by letting go of your self-blame.
4. Have fun.  It doesn’t have to be a big event, and it doesn’t even have to be on your birthday.  It just has to be right for you!