Are you married to an
HSH?  A Highly Successful Husband? 

If so, do you know there are
some specific differences in your marriage? 
True, marriage presents challenges for everyone.  But, the struggle for marital balance is way
off kilter when your husband is a powerful man in the business world and you
are a stay-at-home Mom, or your work is a job not a career.

You have the most important
career in the world – raising your children. 
Yet, it doesn’t carry the weight of an attorney, military brass, CEO, or
a wheeler-dealer.  You may feel you
aren’t getting the respect due to a CEO of a household.

We too often hear of a big
wig, politician for instance, apologizing for his affair – only after he has been caught. 
(John
Edwards, Eliot
Spitzer,  Mike Sanford, Pa.
Rep. Don Sherwood, and lot
more.)

We talk about how the man’s wife
can stand beside him, stand behind him, or even stay with him.  We may not realize what stands in her way
from leaving.  She may be dependent on him
for money, or for a continuation of her standard of living.  She may have been married so long that thinking
about being single again may be too terrifying. 
She may have a status as “his wife” and worry that without that, who
would she be?  She may have female friends
and family who say, “all men do that; you jut have to suck it up.  And, if she doesn’t, she worries she’ll be
seen by them as weak.

All of this is true, by the
way, not just for wives of famous men. 
Wives of any man with professional stature may have similar
concerns.  Divorce is shattering for all
women, but for women coming from a marriage to a high-positioned man, it is
even more complex.

In my practice, I hear so
many wives and ex-wives complain about feeling depressed or lost in their marriage; their
self-esteem comes from being married to the man with the power.  I hear how these women have devoted
themselves to helping their husbands rise in their career but only he gets
promotions and salary raises, only he gets recognition for his value – not she.

After talking to so many
women like this over the years, I began running weekly groups to help these women (those
still married and those who are divorced) “find your own
voice,” to discuss how they can put balance back in their marriage or start
into the world of being single again with their own solid voice.