I met a delightful friend for lunch today, Suzanne Bona.  She is the host on SundayBaroque.org.

(If you like classical or even if you don’t, go listen; she’s on in over 100 cities throughout the US.)

I had asked her to meet me so I could pick her brain.  We had a great lunch, great talk, and her brain put forth great ideas.  When the waiter brought the check, she went to take hers.  I reminded her I had invited her and we then did what so many women do.  She argued about my treating her.  I said, “Why don’t you just smile and say thank you.”  I laugh now when I recall this, but she grimaced and said “Thanks, but you don’t.”  I cut her off and asked for a simple Thank you – with a smile.

Why is it so hard for women to accept being given to without having to do back, apologize, or undo the gift? As Suzanne was speaking, I could hear me on so many occasions, too.  And, as I mention in my gender relationship dictionary, this something women in general have difficulty with.

We all are guilty of compliments about something we are wearing, for example, that get received by, “This old thing.”

So, thank you Suzanne for reminding me that next time I’m in your shoes, I’ll bite my tongue, put on a smile, and say a simple, “Thank you.”