Does he complain that you nag him?  Well, here is a summarized  excerpt from Why Don’t You Understand, A Gender Relationship Dictionary, that can help you both think about this differently.

A man will say a woman is nagging when she repeatedly tells him what she wants him to do, like a chore. Unless he is intentionally ignoring the her, he may register the request, but then set his own time-table for when he will get to it.

If the task doesn’t seem urgent to him, it goes further down his list, behind things he considers more important (or more fun). If he  doesn’t tell her what he is thinking, she is left thinking he has just ignored her, so she repeats her request. Hence, he feels nagged.

So, here’s what a nagging cycle between a man and woman can look like:

·      She mentions something that needs to be done. 

·      He hears her and decides when it should be done (based on how important he feels it is, what else he has to do, how much he hates the thought of doing it, etc.). 

·      She sees it is not done and assumes he has forgotten or never heard her, so she reminds him again. 

·      He hears her again, but says nothing since he knows it’s on his to-do list. 

·      She doesn’t see it getting done, so she reminds him again,

And the cycle continues with him feeling nagged and her feeling ignored.

What happens is he does not let her know he has heard her request and he does not tell her when he’ll complete the project. She may feel more urgency than he does in the chore being completed, but they do not discuss their different perceptions of importance. Thus, they continue the cycle, both getting angrier.

So, this holiday, with all the requests you may have for him, think how you can handle it differently – so he doesn’t complain you are nagging and you can get the results you want.