Ever have a bad day?  A bad week?  As this year comes to an end, it's a good time to think in advance about how you would like to choose to handle these future disappointments or disruptions -- times when your life does not go according to how you envisioned it.

I received a blog from B. Hibbs, author of Try To See It My Way: Being Fair in Love and Marriage (www.trytoseeitmyway.com-- it's a great book, go get it) where she talks about a series of bad things that have happened.  She says,

    "Being a psychologist, I try all kind of rationalizations:

•  The past prepares you for the present. True, it does, and this too shall pass
• It seems that there’s never enough time. Now there’s a week with nothing planned.
• When you’re overwhelmed, break things down into small parts. One day at a time.
• Growth through stress. I can’t abide unnecessary suffering.  Might as well learn from it.
• The Christmas spirit is about togetherness.  I’m grateful we have each other, contagion and all."

Her advice to mothers:

",,,Teach your almost grown sons how to recover from life’s surprises.  It starts with spilled milk. No use getting worked up. Just say, “Oh, that was a surprise, can you help me clean it up?” After many years of practice, the gift my sons now give to themselves when things go south is the reassurance: “Okay, that was a surprise.”

So please when you have a bad day, week or more, take a little time to feel sorry for yourself,grump about a bit, then figure out something new to do."

What do you do to help yourself through these days that can eat away at your self-esteem if you aren't careful?