Yesterday,I was on the phone with Beth.  She was telling me about Julie, her sister who is in her late 70s.  The day after Christmas, Julie’s best friend died.  Bev, twelve years older, lived across the street from her; they were daily companions talking on the phone, going out for chores as well as pleasure.  Julie not just lost her best friend, she lost someone vital in her every day life.  

Why do I tell you their ages, because I want to make it clear how important friendships are, particularly as you get older and it’s harder to make new friends.

Now losing a close friend is horrible at any time; but the thought of starting a newyear without your friend must be added pain.

My heart goes out to Julie.  And, as I told Beth yesterday, I’m struck that of all my blogs (8/5/09 and 9/5/05 ) and articles, the ones that have gotten the most responses are the ones where I’ve written about the death of friends. 

Julie and Bev were vital to each other’s feelings about themselves and their lives.  I couldn’t live so well if Beth were to die (so, keep healthy, Beth).  Hopefully, there is someone in your life that would have the same effect.

Losing a best friend is one of the tough losses, but one of the least recognized losses.  People send sympathy cards when one loses a spouse, parent, child, even a sibling.  But people rarely even think about expressing sympathy (to say nothing about a card) for the loss of a best friend.  But, you have not chosen parents, children and siblings to be in your life.  And, many best friends have a longer relationship than spouses.

So, value your friendships, and be particularly respectful when you hear about someone who has lost a close friend.  They are probably hurting without getting appreciation from others for all that they have lost.

As this
new year begins, my sympathy again to the women who have written me about
losing their best friend.  Time heals,
but the scar is always present.

And, my deepest sympathy to Julie.