If you are part of the 95% of adults who have siblings, you may have grown up playing with them, fighting with them.  They tattled on you(or you tattled on them).  They screamed Mom liked you more; you screamed Dad liked them more. 

That's ancient history now, right?  You’re grown up now.  But, think about it: Do you still have the same squabbles?  Can you write the conversations before they even occur?  Do you get along well –except for certain topics?  Do you speak to your siblings now?  And, are they still alive so you can speak to them?

In 1998, Chris Evart decided to do something special.  She had grownup with a brother and a sister – both of them dead long before they should have been.  From being part of a set of siblings, she became an only child. Whatever her childhood experiences with her brother and sister, she took her loss and her memories and translated them into action.  She started working towards a National Siblings Day (www.SiblingsDay.org.)

She says, “Mother’s Day and Father’s Day honor the living parents.” She wants a day to honor the people who grew up with you.  This would be the people who shared your bedroom, your clothes, who fought over the same toys.  She also wants a day to memorialize those siblings who are no longer in your life. She picked April 10, her sister’s birthday.

Evart turned whatever her feelings about her siblings in childhood into a positive action for herself –and others.  What do you do with your childhood feelings about your brothers and sisters?

“Last Tuesday, like every first Tuesday of the month for the past 12 years, I got in my red Subura and drove four hours straight north on I-95 to Denny’s.  Why? Because my sister Chrissy drove south on I-95 for the same four hours to meet me.”  Robin grins, “I wouldn’t miss these Tuesdays even if the Queen of England were coming to town.  We had lunch and spent the day together,poking around shops, exploring new areas, but mostly sitting and talking.

Robin and Chrissy, midi-life married women, have arranged their work schedule so they can have this special time together every month.

“We weren’t always this close. There were 30 plus years when we wouldn’t go so far as our own backyards to spend time together.  Mom had always wanted us to be close, but when we were little, she’s 15 months older than I,we fought over everything; I always ended up crying. When we were teenagers,she was nasty when I borrowed her clothes, her make-up, or her jewelry.  True, I didn’t always ask first, but after all, I was a teenager!

After college, we went our own ways. We got together twice a year at our parents’ home for Thanksgiving and Passover.  These were the only times our kids got to see and play with each other. 

But then, something changed at our mother’s funeral; it was almost magical. As we stood over her casket, it was as if her hand came up and grabbed us and made us hug.  That hug changed our lives.”

Chrissy had never heard of National Siblings Day.  “I think it’s a great idea, at least now. How would I have felt before Mom died?  I’m ashamed to say, but I think I would have laughed.  Why would I want to celebrate a day for a person whom I didn’t really care about?”

Ninety-five percent of Americans grow up with at least one brother or sister.  That’s a huge statistic, yet so little attention is paid to such a significant relationship. Most adults get on with their lives, ignoring their siblings or taking their existence for granted,like Chrissy and Robin before their mother’s death.

Don’t take your siblings for granted.  Don't wait too long, or until it's too late.  Whether you would choose them as friends, they are yours for life. So, on April 10, send a card, call, or email them to thank them for being your brother or sister.  And, if the relationship is strained or rocky, work on changing it (even if it's her/his fault!).  Get a free copy of Causes of Sibling Conflict off my web.  And, while on my web, check out the 3-part teleseminar (drkgl.com/sibs) I am leading, starting March 23.  Part one is on what leads to a bad relationship and how to improve it.  Part two is specifically for you-- singles with siblings.  Part three is for siblings with aging/ill parents.