Sibling Relationships Follow an Hourglass Pattern
Have you and your siblings always been close? If so, you are among the lucky ones. Most brothers and sisters have gone through different periods of closeness. Your siblings may weave in and out of your life in varying degrees of intensity, depending on your age and your life situation.
One way to think about this pattern is to picture an hourglass, with the top of the glass being childhood and the bottom being old age. The long line across the top and bottom represents a lot of contact during childhood and old age, typically the periods when siblings feel closest to each other.
The hourglass progressively narrows as you move into your adolescent and young adulthood, and reaches the "waist" as siblings have minimal connection during their 20s and 30s while establishing their own careers and personal lives.
During the child rearing years, the hourglass begins to widen. Siblings increase their contact, wanting their children to know their cousins and the extended family. Then, in your middle years, you are often brought even closer as you have to work together around your aging parents.
Unless you and your siblings really like each other, it seems the reasons for continued contact would diminish once your children are grown and your parents have died. Yet, research supports the widening of the hourglass in old age; senior siblings are in touch at least once a week. And many even move to live closer to each other.
As a client said to me once, "If I'm going to be close in old age, I might as well start now."
The same may be true for you. A simple way to start may be by honoring National Siblings Day which is April 10. You can send a sibling card (which you can get for free from their web site) or you can just call or email/text and just say, "Hi, I'm thinking of you."
If you are reading this and saying, "NO WAY," then perhaps you will want to listen to my FREE teleseminar on "You CAN Have A Better Relationship With Your Siblings -- Now (before it's too late).
One way to think about this pattern is to picture an hourglass, with the top of the glass being childhood and the bottom being old age. The long line across the top and bottom represents a lot of contact during childhood and old age, typically the periods when siblings feel closest to each other.
The hourglass progressively narrows as you move into your adolescent and young adulthood, and reaches the "waist" as siblings have minimal connection during their 20s and 30s while establishing their own careers and personal lives.
During the child rearing years, the hourglass begins to widen. Siblings increase their contact, wanting their children to know their cousins and the extended family. Then, in your middle years, you are often brought even closer as you have to work together around your aging parents.
Unless you and your siblings really like each other, it seems the reasons for continued contact would diminish once your children are grown and your parents have died. Yet, research supports the widening of the hourglass in old age; senior siblings are in touch at least once a week. And many even move to live closer to each other.
As a client said to me once, "If I'm going to be close in old age, I might as well start now."
The same may be true for you. A simple way to start may be by honoring National Siblings Day which is April 10. You can send a sibling card (which you can get for free from their web site) or you can just call or email/text and just say, "Hi, I'm thinking of you."
If you are reading this and saying, "NO WAY," then perhaps you will want to listen to my FREE teleseminar on "You CAN Have A Better Relationship With Your Siblings -- Now (before it's too late).
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