Father's Day Musing About Family (Once Your Father is Deceased)
Even if your father is deceased, you still have a family. In fact, your family of origin may be even more important now as one and then both parents die. Perhaps that's why I'm thinking about my nieces and nephew and the families they are creating. And, thinking about them reminds me how we change over time.
Ever since my brother had his first child, it’s been a family joke that I don’t like children until age 3. I didn’t enjoy being with my nieces and nephews until that age. When I was younger, I felt the need to explain why, or apologize, or get defensive about it. One of the pleasures of getting older is I could stop doing that. It’s enough for me to say what I feel – whether it fits the socially acceptable or not.
But, one of the surprises about getting older is how flexible we become. I recently visited with my youngest niece and her husband and two little ones. I really enjoyed being with 1 ½ year old and her 5 week old. (Well, that’s an exaggeration with the infant, but it was fun holding my baby niece’s baby.) I had a thrill seeing how my young niece has grown over the decades and become a caring and attentive mother. And, I did have fun with the 1 ½ year old.
The other change we must make as we get older is participating in the evolving relationships. My four nieces and one nephew are no longer young (even though I refuse to see them as older than 18). They are all in their 30s; one just turned 40. Over the last decade, I’ve had to (and continue having to) adjust my image of myself with them. I’m moving from aunt to aunt/good friend. I suspect this is the same adjustment that parents must make as their children get older. Ask any parent, and they’ll tell you it is a real challenge.
I’d be interested in hearing from you as to your experiences with the shift in your relationship as you watch your children or nieces/nephews grow up.
Categories: nephews, getting older, changing relationships, nieces
Tags: nephews father's Day nieces
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