For many couples, the actual issue involved in an argument is consistently less important than proving themselves right and their partner wrong. The topic of the discussion or argument is not the issue.  For some, it is more important to prove the partner wrong; for others, it’s just to be right.

When couples get caught in an “I’m Right” battle, they have lost sight of their being on the same team.  They have moved from a loving partnership working together to adversaries who want to best the other.  When this occurs, the topic is usually less important than the battle.

Here is a cute way to bypass the power struggle.  Keep a piece of paper on the refrigerator with a vertical line down the middle.  Write one name on the top of each column. Draw straws as to who goes first.  Then, every time you catch yourselves disagreeing over who is right, alternate who gets to be the winner.  That way, you take turns.

This method is particularly useful when the topic is not of serious consequence.

For more ideas about handling conflicts, arguments, and communication between men and women, see my latest book, Why Don’t You Understand? A Gender Relationship Dictionary.  (Get free excerpts at this site, too)