However, while the stigma about being single has abated (we aren’t called spinsters anymore), there still remains a very subtle stigma that shows up in two ways.  We are still asked why not married, as if they is the goal for women.  Or, we are praised for “taking the professional route,” as if that’s the only other option.

Put this together with what research shows about women absorbing blame, having a heightened self-blame quotient, and you can see we still have a ways to go.  

So, this week, think about ways in which you unwittingly fall into the subtle stigmatizing – for yourself and with your single friends.  For instance, what percentage of the time do you spend with single friends talking about men?  Or, do you not go out with friends (or yourself) on a Saturday because it’s still imbedded in your head as a date night?  Or one of my favorite bug-boos, do you refer to yourself as “unmarried” as opposed to “single”?  Unmarried states, again very subtly, that you have not achieved the norm – married.  Single is a state of its own, not compared to anything else.